by dr12 » May 11th, 2012, 2:02 am
I think I will use this file and see what happens. I have work this summer, and cannot afford to risk a budding female personality ruining my internship, but I want to try it for college. It seems like Bella was always sexually aggressive, but Letty took a bit to start concentrating on sex. I was wondering how the female persona is inspired - how does it form in the first place? Does it take our ideas of what we think being a girl would be like or something and build off of that? I want my persona to be a total cock-loving slut who will force me to do the sluttiest things will guys and I want her to make me go after the most masculine of men, those guys with the hard, muscular bodies and the big, thick cocks. I also want her to force hormones on me and at least try to force a sex change on me. I'd especially like it if she always used the enhanced sexual sensations that Bella's original ego spoke of when Bella sucked the dildo. I want to be made to LOVE sucking cock and taking cock up the ass and getting cum all over and inside me. I think using enhanced sexual pleasure would definitely help break me, no matter my resistance. I'm really scared of the file, but last summer I started listening to a lot of other files, including Isabella Valentine's "cock worship" file - really effective btw - and even though I was able to cut myself off before things got complelely out of hand, I still feel oddly attracted to cocks. Yet, I'm resistant to actually going out and getting fucked by men. I've brought two cyberskin dildos, both are 8 inches in height and 6 in girth. I got my first one in September and I got rid of it because I became scared of what it and the hypnotic files were doing to me. I recently bought another one and when I suck it I get so turned on. I have to get rid of it because I'm going back home in a few days and there is no safe place to put it. I think it's pretty clear that, if this file does create the female persona, especially in my idealized image, it will be the nail in the coffin for me, which I secretly want. I know the I will probably try to consciously fight the changes I will undergo, but the desires for sexualized feminization ( which I've had since I was 4) and my newer desires to submit to men sexually and be used like a slutty whore, are too strong and pervasive. In the end, I will want it. I wonder what I can do to make the file most effective, help anyone?