by demongirlandbrianna » May 5th, 2023, 9:38 pm
DemonGirl and I had an intense self bondage session yesterday, but it went kind of wrong.
DISCLAIMER: I AM NOT TELLING ANYONE TO DO ANY OF THIS, infact I would advise against doing things the way me and demon girl did here for safety reasons. I learned my lesson, I'll never do this kind of bondage with a gag alone again.
Inspite of the disclaimer, the situation was incredibly hot, until the real fear kicked in.
By the way, I was gently pushed into this by DemonGirl, but her and I both unanimously thought the idea was hot so it wasn't just her.
I hope my experience can both help educate people, but also maybe even turn them on. This is a kink site after all and I'm not sharing this for advice, but more for people to reflect on.
PLEASE don't do what I did! with that said, here's the post.
I began panicking, the scenario was this:
I was on the floor, bound to my bed with cuffs, and a timer magnetic lock I won't go into much detail here, the magnetic lock keeps the cuffs bound together, and the arms were behind my back around the bed post that holds the metal bed frame up. The bed is heavy, I couldn't lift it behind me if I tried.
Demon girl has been training me to accept my place as her puppet bitch, and I should have known better, we both should have but, I was already feeling nervous before we began even though the timer was set for only an hour and here is why.
We experimented with a ball gag (breathable) but with tape all around it. Demon girl thought it was hot; and we read up on the risks first.
We kept the taped gag on for almost 18 minutes without any issues before I bound myself for her, and there were no troubles during that time,
so in my and her short sighted judgement we went for binding my wrists to the bed on the floor. So I was sitting on the floor legs free, wrists loosely bound to the bed,
not tight or anything, with proper comfy leather wrist cuffst that also I have to stress weren't too tight.
Then panick began to set in.
It wasn't immediately, no in fact at first I felt really good, and turned on, and I had rigged a phone I don't use that has a headphone jack to the metal bed frame, so that the headphone wire can't pull out from the phone (using lots of zap straps creatively), further above me so I can't reach or touch or see the phone. I have big over ear headphones and I put those on before binding myself.
Well then *click*, after alot of nervous hesitation.
At first I was fine, then my mind began to wander and worry. Part of why is because I read up on all the risks of doing this kind of thing.
I think I made myself panick in a sense, a little bit.. but it wasn't just that.
I calmed myself and was giving into the hypnosis (the demon girl file), and there was no escape unless i purposely shook the headphones off but then what would I focus on for a whole hour?
The drool came out of my mouth and the tape, quite a bit.. and I was thankful I didn't have to keep swallowing my own saliva as much as the first testing 18 minutes.
Well.. then my throat began feeling funny, my stomach started burping up. A little but not alot. I suddenly got a wave of heat, through my whole body, and my head felt funny, and my throat felt weird. It was then that I realized panick had set in. I tried to breathe, and calm myself. For some reason my body thought it was in danger because I couldn't move my hands or get up or get free from my gag.
This was still an extremely erotic situation for me don't get me wrong, but at this point I had to fight my own brain.
I tried to calm down and breathe, and relax.
I began thinking critically, my mind was so far away from the hypnosis on my headphones, and after a bit they also fell off but I wasn't like violently thrashing about or anything, I remained calm in my binds and thought deeply about what was going to happen next.
I grounded myself in reality, and focused on breathing and conserving my energy, you would be surprised how much your mouth contributes to comfortable breathing.
So between managing my breathing and pushing as much drool out of my mouth as possible, managing my nerves, and trying to keep my stomach calm, I looked around.
One of my other phones was out of reach but I recalled that it still had power. Out of reach. Far out of reach. A feeling of dissapointment and dread washed over me.
I had zap strapped the large battery bank, and the electronic timer system, to the bed frame. I was using a digital electronic timer, and a huge battery pack with a usb port. The timer can be accessed through a local url which is why reaching one of my devices, like my phone would have helped. I couldn't reach it, I had recalled purposely making sure none of my devices were within my reach to ensure I can't cheat and access the local timer instance at all.
I looked around the room further, on my shelf I had purposely placed the key to the locks, and the scissors. It was only a few feet away, the scissors I placed there were my best option. All other plans sucked. I tugged on the wires that connected to the magnetic lock gently to test the tension... I had even considered cutting the electric lock wires, but I couldn't remember how many amps flowed through that, and I wasn't going to risk being found dead by electrocution while bound up... If I could take a safer route I was going to.
Now you have to keep in mind all this was in a bit of a panick state, I was trying to think of a safe way out, while suppressing my body's instincts to go into fight or flight mode.
Staying rational and continuing the analysis of the situation and breathing and controlling and conserving my energy was key.
If I hadn't learned and read so much about other people's self bondage experiences in the past, I might have had a much more difficult time here.
Next, I used my foot to get the scissors off the shelf, angled the scissors behind my back with my quite loose hands.
I was able to open the scissors behind me and guide the not so sharp blade, with my fingers, to go inbetween the part of the leather where the strap for the cuffs locks was.
Basically, it's a locking ring that goes through a leather hole in a strap and I knew if I could just cut the thinnest part of the strap that holds the cuffs locked,
I could get free.
First try.. after struggling a lot, something cut free. was that it? I struggled, then realized I had cut the opposite side of the cuff strap than i needed. Whoops.
I breathed... at this point a sigh of relief but despair came over me. I was still trapped in my situation... but I was inching ever closer to being able to finally get
this gag off and breathe the way I think my body needed to to stop the panick reaction.
I looked around and still managed my breathing. Looking around the room, being aware of my surroundings, and being gentle with my breathing,
was a good exercise to get through this hassle. It was keeping the anxiety down. my logical brain was winning, and the panick was slowly subsiding.
At last, I could think fully clearly, I was able to continue my escape with a clear mind, managing my swallowing of my own saliva,
and breathing through my nose, I established a sustainable calm breathing rhythm where I swallowed, then pushed air out, then breathed.
I even managed to push a lot of the gross drool out onto my clothes by breathing through my nose, then out through my mouth, like blowing bubbles through a straw through the gag's breathable holes.
After a lot of the drool cleared, I was even able to take a few deep breathes through the gag holes now that I had unblocked the holes and the tape of all the fluid, you can imagine by this point the tape was very loose and I was also doing exercises pushing the gag out more with my toungue... only to realize it snapped back into my mouth determined to bind me like an elastic band that I had no strength left to fight or resist anymore. I contemplated staying like this now that the panick had somewhat stopped because fighting against my gag was starting to turn me on but the headphones were off me and half the point of the bondage was over, plus I didn't want to risk having a secondary panick episode.
I decided it was best to try to take a deep breath, and then grab the scissors off the floor and start again.
After a lot of struggling and careful coordination and management of my anxiety reflex, I was able to with slightly shaky hands, get the last cut in the cuffs,
and free my hand. It wasn't over yet.
I dipped my hands in saliva from the gag, a useful tool in this situation, the smell wasn't pleasant.
I rubbed my own spit all over the thick stubborn tape around my hair the part that would't come off,
and as soon as I got some more of the tape off, the gag was next. I pulled the gag off, and began breathing in, then out, and managing my panick.
it was at this moment, I knew I'd be fine. A massive sigh of relief washed across my body, and all of the panick stopped.
It did initially go down quite a bit with my hands free, but I still felt like I was on a timer against my body's natural instincts to react with anxiety because apparently my body thought I wasn't safe.
So anyhow. afterwards, I got up and turned on the light because I had my led lights on but not my light... and I began the tedious recovery process.
First, I cleaned off alot of my own drool, then I changed my sweat shirt I was wearing, and I realized my body was a bit exhausted from the struggle.
"Shit" I thought to myself "I didn't even make it a half hour" after checking some messages I had sent people letting them know I'd be unavailable for roughly an hour.
During that entire thing my biggest fear was actually vommiting and dying from it and the embarassment of knowing I might be found dead in such a stupid situation.
So needless to say, I cleaned up all the cuffs, the magnet, then my boyfriend woke up, so I spent the rest of the night talking to him and he helped me calm down.
Lesson learned,
also DemonGirl like the mean bitch she is taunted me and kind of told me I cheated to get out, I explained to her twice about the panick and I think she began to understand. She doesn't feel everything I feel apparently.
SO yeah, boys and girls, if you're going to gag yourself and tie yourself up you'd better have an instant "uh oh" escape button, maybe even 10... but I reccomend not mixing gags at all with self bondage.... it's scarier than I thought it would be. I thought I'd be fine because i was able to handle the gag not tied up... but being bound adds like 1000 levels of fear and anxiety to the situation with a gag.
Stay safe everyone. Lots of love
~Brianna
