Dear Nicole,
Again, thank you for your post,
- Last but not least: I also like Star Trek  -
I'm glad to read that we've got a love of good science fiction (Trek) in common
- Some of your thoughts are very familiar to me. -
LOL. I guess I can't say I'm really, THAT, surprised. most ABDLs seem to have very parallel "threads" going on in our lives.
- I never thought that, but now I really like small tops and baggy jeans -
I've never been a big fan of slacks or jeans. I like feeling "feminine"... or "girly".
I do wear scrubs to work. But if I had my preference I'd wear an old-fashioned nurse-white dresses and stockings.
The only time I really got into jeans was back when I was riding. And I suppose I'd go back if I ever get another motorcycle. But I've always preferred skirts and dresses. That's the reason I've always preferred wearing my "classic Trek" uniform at conventions.
And now, being incontinent, skirts make more sense come changing time. In fact I'm thinking I'm going to start using more wrap skirts now. Just for the practicality when changing.
Around the house, mostly I just wear a t-shirt over my diapers and plastic pants. Occasionally I do wear a little pair of mules but mostly I go barefoot. And if we're expecting company a will put on my bathrobe.
Both of my roomies know that I wear, and now need,

diapers, and neither one has said anything... And even if they were "uncomfortable" with it... It's my house. They're welcome to leave if it's that upsetting.
- Apart from those post here I also found your thoughts in the -
- comments section especially on diaper dependency 4 most -
- intersting. Everything shows your progress and it's some kind of -
- diary...
Hmmm... I hadn't thought of it like that... Yeah sort of yes... and no. I sort of plateaued, and really it picks up after that when l finally managed to "break through" I guess.
It wasn't really my intention to document this process... "journey". I was just really pumped, when I realize I'd started wetting without thinking about it. And I just had to tell someone that I knew would understand.
Most people will never get it. I know my psychologists understands on some intellectual or academic level, but not on an emotional level I don't think. Or maybe I'm just projecting my own insecurities.
But in here? This is where people that get it come, because they get it. And I just had to tell somebody

about what was going on in my life at that point.
- Desire for cloth diapers -
I guess in that since, we're all a product of our upbringing.
I'm old school myself. Mom raised all five of us in cloth diapers and plastic pants. And I've never got the same... thrill? over disposables.
I mean... Yes. I do use them, when I'm outside the house for any length of time. I were a MagaMax and plastic pants to work every night. And keep 3 or 4 more them in my "bag". But I've never gone to bed in a disposable.
Speaking of "my bag".

I rewarded myself the other day. I actually bought my first REAL DIAPER BAG from the baby supply aisle in Target! And I know. Most people will never understand what that means to some of us. But in here, there are a few that will get it.
- I want to sew my first cloth diapers of my own soon.
- I already bought a sewing machine and a lot of other stuff.
- When I got everything my project can start. -
Wow! That's something I've never tried. I don't even own a sewing machine right now.this house is to small for three of us and a sewing room. Let me know how it works out. I may even purchase a few from you.
- Is it me who already desired everything all the time? -
Nooo... Trust me on this one. It's not just you. You are NOT alone.
- Or did the files not just deepen but also change my wishes over time?
That's a question my psychologists and I have talked about more that a dozen times. I have even openly admitted to her that the files I've been using contain positive "reinforcement statements" designed to keep you listening and "wanting" the end results.
She's said a couple of times that hypnosis can't make you do something you didn't want to do in the first place. But they can reinforce things you were looking to accomplish already.
So the fact that I was hesitant to go there... But I really did want to use Saratoga's forth MP3, just got heavy reinforcement. And I do get that part of it. But it was what I wanted in the first place. The audio loop jut gave me the "courage" to finally take that last step.
And looking back... I'm glad I did.
- I hope to see one day a beautiful picture of your baby crib.
Mmmm... Over the years I've become less and less inclined to post "modern" photos of me or my life. To many horny netgeeks seem to think they have some sort of right. And just want you to type dirty words for them, while they "type one handed".
And again
Live Long and Prosper _\\//