Can't get over a hypnotist that abandoned me

[Jadit]

I'm sure some of you are familiar with Elena at http://esuccubus.com/ ... so am i for well over a year. Then i happened to write something in file comments, and she bans me without any warnings. Giving no chance to explain what happened and so on. She just blocks my emails without reading them, saying FU, and that i should never listen to her files again.

I can guarantee 100% that she raised an issue out of absolutely nothing. Problem is, her files are the ones i was learning hypnosis with on almost a daily schedule. I can't get over something like that :( I still like her, and everybody related to the whole community, but i hate that she doesn't understand me. Her files are unique, something i can't find similar anywhere else. I can't listen to her files with hard feelings, and that puts my whole hypnosis subject, and my whole life a mess.

Here i am writing this in the middle of the night, because i couldn't even sleep, thinking about this issue. And it's now well over a month after it happened. I've been trying to get over it by learning to listen to other hypnotists, but it's just not the same, especially with these feelings lurking behind.

So i need someone to help me contact Elena and speak for me. I have written her many very long emails, without receiving any response. I will also answer to any questions you might have about it.

Well, the whole thing started on file comment (i found it a little funny that the nickname included "lady", but her voice was that of a male):
"Dear lady, you have a very male voice :)"

Turned out that he is a she (transgender female), and that some might find that a little offensive. Who knows, i asked her, and she didn't care. It's like Elena hates all male in general, is that it? I do some crossdressing myself, and wish i was born female myself, so why would i do such comment, with offensive thoughts, if i am among the offended people category myself? I also tried to explain to her what i meant by that, but was too lazy to write a long message back then:
"Hi, i appreciate the new hypnosis files, but i would hope more with female voice. This is because i listen to many Elena's files such as Obey Women, Submissive female form, and so on, which make female voice much more effective. So male voiced files are partially contradicting to many other files in this site. But sure there still are many people who prefer male voice aswell."

All in all, file description didn't say what gender the file was voiced on. I only wanted to let others know which one it was, because it can make a huge difference.

[ProfessorPig]

i too am a big fan of elena's work. i wish she had a better microphone though. i am sorry to hear she permabanned you as well, people make mistakes and say the wrong things sometimes.

i am not surprised you are still yearning for her files. not only is her command of language is strong and her files are creative and well thought out, but she also has suggestions to increase devotion in almost all of her files. rejection is tough even without hypnosis thrown in the mix.

it irks me a little that there are so many files out there to enslave subjects to a master who is no longer active. perhaps someone should make a general release file like deprogram all but more geared towards these kind of situations.

there are quite a few other hypnotists out there who do that mix of story and functional hypnosis but most of the good ones i can think of are male, not as prolific, and dont cover the same subjects she does. i hope you find someone who works well for you.

[Jadit]

You don't seem much moved from my file comment itself, in fact i have talked to few others about it and none of them are. I could use honest opinions about it too, was it that severe that Elena had to come at me with "What the fuck is wrong with you?"? If she's really the kind hypnotist i thought she was, does that make her worthy to even try to follow?

I happened to mention to her quickly that i disagree the way she uses curse words in her public forum posts very often. She didn't see anything wrong with that. :roll:

[Endo]

Transgender people are rather touchy about most gender topics. "Real" people are different from how porn portrays them, and shemale porn is really offensive to most transgendered people, and a lot of shemale porn is faked. I have a tumblr blog thing where I reblog shemales and a bunch of other kinky stuff. I've never had someone call me on the carpet for using the industry terms, but I've seen it happen to other tumblrs. Most people don't know how to talk to transgendered people, just because there are so many misconceptions and questions that need answers, but the transgendered community knows all these answers, so they get angry whenever an outsider asks annoying questions that "everyone knows the answer to".

I think she was out of line. You made an innocent observation, and no matter how offensive it seemed to her, she had no right to react like she did. A person in a position of power should be able to talk to someone without being offended by an ignorant comment.

[ProfessorPig]

[Jadit]

Thank you for those words. They do help me get over it, even if real solution cannot be found.

[Mutazoa]

All I can say is, some people believe too much in their own hype. All too often I've witnessed site owners and moderators banning people for minor stuff just because they could, rather than having a solid reason. When tist's do this to their subs it's even worse. I've never been a big proponent of Elena...not really a big fan of tists that work addictive suggestions into their files to MAKE you keep buying them....and then to cut some one off cold turkey for any reason is just plain irresponsible.

Fortunately there are plenty of tist's in the sea and you should have no trouble finding another. Failing that, Elena's files are ...how should I say....not always available strictly from Elena....

[Endo]

Heh. ^That last bit. Drop a 'tist with time on their hands a link, and see if they can hook you up with an addiction recovery file. Or, if you can script, try peice-mailing one together from some scripts for porn, cigarette, or other addiction recovery files.

[Jadit]

I don't think i need to bother with erasing files, luckily. Because i'm hard to hypnotize, i was still practising the basic thing of getting under. For best result to that i should have avoided changing hypnotist if at all possible. But i can tell that the practise is not in vain, changing hypnotist is clearly not the same as starting from scratch. Some of the feelings carry over, or get even stronger.

[ProfessorPig]

[Jadit]

[uw_onsterfelijk]

I'm sorry for your experiences Jadit but sometimes, regardless of circumstances, right or wrong, you just have to move on.

Hypnosis makes it hard because, and this is a theory, when listening to a hypnotist it as if they actually "talk" directly to our feelings! It's a very intimate and personal way of communication and thus, hard to get over. I have felt this way to and in almost the exact same situation. Something I wrote, a story, and shared, with the hypnotist, was taking the wrong way and I was banned.

Life's a funny thing sometimes. All the best,
- uw_

[Jadit]

Some also say "Some things are worth fighting for!", "Never give up!", and so on :) Well, through my efforts i have never lost my calm yet. Reasonably thinking there should be hope, if all cards are played well.

Sorry to hear it happened to you aswell. Hope you weren't as attached to his/her files at the point. It's shame that hypnotists can do that... aren't there any unspoken moral rules for hypnosis, to prevent this from happening?

[MistE]

Heyo all.

Of course, Jadit has posted only the positive parts of his story, and left out the fact that the original cause of my complaint was his referring to lady Josephine in the following way: "Hey "Lady" you have a very male voice" on the entry for her first file's comment material. Lady Josephine is trans, and this comment therefore irked me considerably and I barred him from the forums. I then found out he was going to other web sites and bringing the dispute public which is his right, and I remained silent about it because it's not my place to go stalking someone to other websites and complaining about them just because I found them hurtful to me and potentially hurtful to one of my co-tists. A part he conveniently left out of the story.

Jadit later explained that he felt there was a language barrier there. Which I sort of accepted until he started sending abusive mail to my inbox. So I had to block him on gmail, fair enough! Everyone has the right to say what they want and I respect that, I just don't have to allow it in my personal inbox. So he began spamming me on niteflirt, where I park some of my files for sale as payment mails and take contributions. Sooo I deleted those mails and moved on. So then he began posting things about this on my site - appeals for unbanning, complaints, statements he would hurt my reputation until I did what he wanted.. So I blocked him there on his new account, which he used to get around the original ban. I note at this point I had taken no serious punitive action. I informed him I rather didn't want people who ARE transphobic or insulting to me or my friends listening to my work or commenting on my site, but I did nothing that would prevent him making a new account, downloading from my site, or just enjoying himself and having a good time.

Then he began posting on my own personal forums saying "the story must be heard!" and talking about how since he was going to spam my forums every day, it would eventually get out and make my reputation suffer. I doubt this is seriously the case, and I wouldn't even be bothering to post here if he wasn't dragging this public. I IP banned him last night because he explicitly threatened to spam my forums.

I'm cool with owning what I did and being forthright: Jadit rubs me the wrong way. Especially this threatening, extortionist behavior that came AFTER the perceived insult to Josie. Allow me to share the now-deleted-and-ignored tumblr ask question he sent me:

"So you decided to IP ban me, i am a little disheartened to see that. Unfortunate for you, that is not a barrier to me. Oh well, you'll see the full story on the forums tomorrow, day after that and so on until you come back to your senses. I know there is more than dark heart still in you, i just have to warm it up a bit. Problem is, the more people get to see it, the more your credibility will start to crumble. There are many cases in history where dictators were taken down. -Jadit"

I posted about this on my site and he made two comment posts from a new account, evading the block and ip ban, and has indicated he will continue switching ip addresses and evading the block, forever, until I do what he wants. Just sharing another perspective - his behavior here is pretty terrible, and I'm not going to drag it much more public than to say: When you look at someone's actions and every side of the story favors them and paints them in a sympathetic light via their own words? Chances are good you are not getting the whole story.

Message to Jadit: Other forums are not a clearing house for your complaint or a place to continually throw tantrums until you get your way. My forums are not the place to spam and evade bans, please respect my decision which is made in light of your statement that you will spam "the truth" on my forums until "I am taken down". I mean even if your initial statements re: Josie and re: me were legitimate mistakes, your actions after were deliberate and willful like this morning's spam (which I finally got around to removing) and ban evasion.

P.P.S: I DID get a slightly better mic and better pc, and am remastering old stuff like obey women and night night presently.

[Jadit]

1. I didn't only post positive parts, if you go through my first post, i mentioned that same sentence myself.

2. I am not transphobic, and you would know that if you're read anything i've said. I am anti-transphobic.

3. You didn't have to quote that same comment you posted in the "Vandal" post, i linked that same quote myself few posts back. In equal manner you are conviniently only showing positive parts from your perspective, and kindly ignoring the things that matter.

You invaded my personal life first, that is a fact. You were part of my life for a year, and then you came and broke everything to pieces, just because you didn't understand what i said.

No, i don't want to be at war with you, i only want to talk to you and clear it up. You said you were willing to think about it, funny that this is first time you have said anything of that kind. You were just badmouthing me, ignoring everything i say. I didn't even know if you read anything i wrote.

[MistE]

In your original comment, "Lady" was in quotemarks like that. It is important to note that, it makes a difference as to why I drew the inference I did and I think I will continue to draw it. Saying you're not transphobic or misogynistic and so on doesn't make it so.

In the spirit of reading things people say: Please stop spamming my forums and evading blocks and bans, please stop spamming my tumblr, niteflirt, and gmail. Please just stop. This is no longer about the rightness or wrongness of your initial actions -which I feel is debatable given the insults hurled my way after the initial barring - this is now about you attempting to make my life so miserable that I do what you want. Because as a matter of principle it would be wrong for me to go "oh well he's complained about me in a ton of places, spammed my forums, inconvenienced my fans, and left intimidating "notes" in my inbox, better give him what he wants!" there is no circumstance under which I can now accept you are acting in good faith, pretty much in light of your actions and continued insistence that all of your activities have been right and correct. Do not come to my site and post hurtful content or email me or contact me and so on. I will stop responding here because I already feel bad for dragging this dispute onto someone else's site, and I apologize to the WMM forum denizens, in light of this. Thanks in advance.

[Jadit]

Fuck i'm so through with this. You proved to me very well that you have not developed any level of empathy. You are not worthy of following as a hypnotist, if you treat your clients like disposable paper. Just lock this thread if means be. I will not bother you anymore.

[uw_onsterfelijk]

[Jadit]

[uw_onsterfelijk]

Yes, please move on... for everyone's benefit! She has made it clear she wants nothing to do with you. Whether you feel it's right or wrong does not matter, that's her position. And your continued postings makes you seem simply out to "get" her.

I know it's tough but understand this... finding a hypnotist who's files you LOVE is similar to falling in love. At least for me it was. But it's different for the hypnotist. For the subject it's a one on one feeling! Very intimate and very personal.

But, and this is a big but, for the hypnotist it's a one to many type relationship. Their demand from many many users is not so quite intimate and personable, for them. This obviously is a typical generalization and thus, not applicable to every hypnotist's situation with each follower/subject.

- uw_

[melissatownsend]

[NomdeFemme]

[Jadit]

[uw_onsterfelijk]

Now... you're just being slanderous. Grow up, learn and move the fuck on! Quit posting your diatribe over and over ad nausem.

[Jadit]

[WatDo]

Actually that's a valid reason. Next time don't comment on anything that specific. Just say "this is nice because (thing in the file)," shut up, and move on. You should step back and realize that your further "explanations" come off as ranty, which also just gives them more of a reason to dislike you. Save face. Move on. Be mature. There's more hypnotists and files to fool around with, so go for those instead of wasting effort on whatever you're doing now in this thread.

[maverika]

Jadit, some advice...

First, your still listening to the files of hers you still have, aren't you?
You need to stop doing this. Immediately.

There is probably a subliminal goddess worship layer on the file(s), that means that the more you listen, the more you want her, some hypnotists do this just to get you to visit their site more, some for more...exotic reasons.

Stop listening to her files.

Second, if my divining skills hold here, because of said subliminal, because she's is/was your mistress, you therefore require her forgiveness. Correct?
You are being compelled, to simply 'worship/follow' her at every turn, reading your post, it seems forgiveness is the key objective here, not even to have you taken back. You keep repeating, almost mantra like, what happened, and then the subsequent follow-ups sound 'ranty'. This is because, very simply put, you are not sure what you want, or what to articulate. It seems that you are just acting on impulse, hmm wait a sec! It's almost like... you've been hypnotised! *cough*

Third, you should go cold turkey. All hypnosis. You don't know what triggers are on you. These will fade with time, but you should start immediately. I'm not going to say 'delete' her files, rather, move them to portable drive/USB, put this in a box, put the box under your bed. Then her files will be stored safely. I would suggest for the next few evenings watching a film or three, listen to the radio, even house chores. Then plan a few weeks of cold turkey, it will help.
I say all hypnosis, as listening to other files may trigger something, or cause you to go for the files again.

I won't post more on this, not even to reply. I hope you find this sensible advice and that it helps. I will offer some proof before i go,
are you listening to her files still? *bing*
If I ask you to stop listening, will you? or will you make excuses to not? *bong*

Tx

[uw_onsterfelijk]

[NomdeFemme]

[radar]

Hey Jadit,

It is a shame that you got banned for writing something you didn't intend to be offensive.

However.. There are ways of handling these problems that don't include the type of venom and attack that I am reading in your words.
The simplest of fixes would have been to write an apology to Mistress Elena and Lady Josephine apologising for any hurt the comments may have made. Then wait and hope..

Whether or not you would have been allowed back is purely up to them. All of this ranting and threatening behaviour does no-one any good.

You say you really enjoy her traces but your tantrums are spoiling it for her other followers. The doubt that you sow into peoples minds can cause problems when they try to trance.

If I was in Mistress Elenas shoes - (Love the heel, sorry if I stretch them a little) I would have also banned you.

Joanne xx

[lew897]

Im with Jadit on this one, if any hypnotist cant handle a little critic here or there then whats the point of being a free hypnotist in the first place? Also, the Fifth Amendment says we get to say whatever we want. Even if very disagreeable. So, its Jadits choice to obesse over the loch ness monster if that was what was all the rage. Personally, it seems like alot of hypnotist have huge egos that get in the way with subs. Probably for good reason because people can become stalkerish. I found this to confirm my opinon that people are only taking care of themselves when hypnosis is concerned.

[ProfessorPig]

[lew897]

This is getting too cruel. I was just on Jadits side because obviously hes in love with Elena services and she cut him off because of a misunderstanding. And who knows what will piss off a person.

[Endo]

Can we please let this stupid topic die? If it's really that troublesome for the guy, he can just make another account with a different credit card and IP address, and maybe this time, he'll keep his trap shut.

[Limbolux]

[Limbolux]

On a serious note. Both sides show signs of alot of insecurity:
One side believes her sexual identity and ego attacked by a flippant comment.
and for the other side there is seperation anxiety and needyness.

I dont know any of Elenas files but maybe there is a stalker file, or something like that hidden in the scripts.

[Jadit]

Maybe the main reason for opening this thread, was to find people who can help me discuss with Elena, to solve the matter peacefully. Because what i always wanted to do was write apology letters to her etc, but now i don't know how to do that because she bans the addresses. I'm still considering writing these apologies, but i just don't know where to send them. It would help great deal if someone else could speak to her for me.

Ever since i was banned, i stopped listening to her files. It causes me emotional distress to even think about it. All her files were deleted from my medias long time ago, and all emails i've sent/received about this topic no longer exist. I am doing all i can to forget what happened.

But anyone who says i harassed her, knows very little about the incident. I reached forums for acceptance to my actions, and to some extent i did get that. But most people are very careful with what they say, and want to take neutral stance. I can understand that. On the other half, it is easier to side on a respected hypnotist, than a banned person, or in other words; "ants get crushed". I did not make these threads to flame Elena. If she gets suddenly unpopular if someone speaks the truth, then she rightfully deserves it.

On other notice, i have spoken also lots of good about Elena, even on this forum. On other forum i spoke of her so kindly, i even received private messages thanking me for getting to know Elena.

All i'd want to say to Elena right now is in big caps: STOP HATING ME! I never hated you, or any other person on the planet. You reap what you sow. If you love your fans, they will love you back, multiplied tenfold. Stop the hatred and ignorance, please.

[Jadit]

[uw_onsterfelijk]

Are you in love with her? You are aren't you? Admit it. That's the only explanation for your continued posting and longing for her. Sad really.

Once somebody makes it known they want NOTHING to do with me, well... I'm usually turned off that I repulse them so much that they feel that way about me so I do this: I... MOVE... ON! And forget about them.

You're pretty thick skulled so I imagine the advice given over and over and over will... fall on deaf ears! Hey I know... maybe I should write a "moving on from a hypnotist who abandoned, errr, despises me" session!!! Would you listen to it?

All the best,
- uw_

[Jadit]

No, i'm not in love with her, and my "feelings" towards her is at all time low. I don't want that kind of files either. I was starting to get a routine for basic hypnosis to work for me when she broke my world. I can't get deep enough for real hypnosis yet. It's even more disrespectful that she doesn't even understand that she's hurting me.

[CharredSoul]

she's hurting you? its not that she is hurting you its where you lack a personal barrier. doesn't mean you need to barricade yourself in, you just have to choose more wisely who you let in.

some people are arseholes, if its the first time that you let an arsehole into your life, lesson should be learnt, or if you don't think that you have learnt it let more into your life.

one thing you do have to understand though is that you would've had to follow instructions to reach hypnosis in that situation. the power doesn't lie solely on the hypnotist, it is all the matter of the subject, if they want to experience hypnosis in a formal induction.

if you do want to experience it again, ask yourself what does the experience feel like, melt yourself into that experience again, if anything comes up just let it go, if you want to deepen that experience what would it feel like to go even deeper(even if you don't know just imagine).

[Jadit]

[uw_onsterfelijk]

[CharredSoul]

you think banning such a person would be a good idea? somebody that actually needs help in this situation and banning them would only reinforce the ideas and could be detrimental to him mentally, i just wondering if you are this person he is talking about or know of the person he is talking about.

ending the thread might be a good idea, and a warning if he starts up another thread not to go down this track again.

[uw_onsterfelijk]

Wonder no more, I am surely not Elena. You can scan my 147 posts to see that clearly ;)

Do I know of this person, absolutely. But at no point am I defending her. I am simply responding to Jadit's situation and actions. So knowing of her has no relevance.

I will agree, banning is a bit harsh and your last suggestion is ultimately a better solution.

[radar]

Jadit

Since Elena has made it pretty clear that she does not want you to contact her and she has locked you out of her site - I think any further attempts to contact her to "repair relations" pretty much amounts to stalking.
As hurt as you might feel - this is not going to get better.
Give up and move on.

Joanne

[Jadit]

Internet world is very different to if you can actually see someone and exchange words. I never had that chance to exchange words, so the scar is wide open, and you can't even compare this to breaking up with someone.

I agree on alot of things about what Elena says about me. Not everything though. And at the same time she thinks things about me which aren't actually true.

Consider this message a public invitation for Elena to talk to me in IRC.
http://webchat.freenode.net/
chat.freenode.net #esuccubus
I hope that this is my last message on this subject, and that i could see you there. Even if you're someone else, i'm always up for friendly chat :) I'll keep the channel up for some time. Days/weeks, who knows. But this should be an opportunity to at least properly apologize her. If you could pass this on to her, it would be much appreciated.

[MistE]

Jadit, I normally do not respond to you, but once more you insist on bringing this into a public venue and you just revived a very old topic, so I will take this moment to respond.

You have done countless things such as threaten me, stalk me from site to site, send me messages I explicitly asked you not to send me, sneak back onto my site, spam my site obstructing it for other users, and just a few minutes ago PM me saying that the only way I can end this peacefully is if I agree to have a chat with you.

That is not going to happen because you would be banned from my site for the following harassment and threats and cyber stalking you are doing (such as right here, and when you sent me that PM a short time ago) anyway. Like even if you got what you wanted and I said "oh sorry, my reason for banning you was unjust" I would then go "BUT the way you acted after you were banned was horrible and abusive, so I'm unbanning you for the first thing, and banning you for the way you treated me and my associates during your tantrum afterward".

I have asked the administration to find a way to prevent you from PMing me on

Please do not revive this long-dead topic again. Or any others like it. I posted here only because you had already just revived it, so I was not myself doing more harm by replying to you. Stop. I cannot order you, I am asking you to stop.

I CAN order you not to contact me in any venue since you have no right to be doing that. You can say what you like, subject to community standards, but do not contact me personally in any way for any reason ever again.

When a person asks you to do that, reasonable, sane people respect it, provided the other person is also leaving them alone. I only talk to, or about you, when you are harassing me like this. Stop.

Thank you. I appreciate that you, as a reasonable person, will never contact me again. But as I said above, I have also contacted administration to ask them if there is some way to block you or prevent you from sending me private messages here, as I have had to on every other messaging service I have had, where you have ignored my reasonable request and spammed, harassed, or threatened me.

Stop. Thank you for being reasonable and doing so. Goodbye.

[Jadit]

Sheesh, you really are locked on ignoring me and taking everything i say as threat, even if i ask you kindly. None of my last messages to you contained any threats or demands from you.

This thread has served its purpose, so i'd kindly ask moderators to not only lock this thread, but delete it from existence.

edit: Since moderators said they will not, i'll stop by this. IRC conversation would not go as you expect, actually you are almost talking about different subject entirely. It is pretty clear that in every message you boast about how many times you ignore everything i try to say, and then enhance it with your false idea of what happened. But how many times have you sat back and listened? No, i was never given chance to speak my mind, for example like "i'm sorry".

[Limbolux]

Wut? No please, it can't be over, not yet, not like this! Jadit, do something to win her back! Confess your everlasting love to her, and let another rejection fuel your obession. Let us be the witnesses of the rising of a superhuman stalker, created by the most childish behavior ever seen by 2 actors, who are secretly in love with each other.
Maybe another pm will do? Or you could try to find out her real identity. I wonder what would happen.. Maybe a restraining order or even prison. How exciting! But you must hurry before the temperature is dropping. Time is of the essence!
:twisted: