by bisexdoll » April 7th, 2012, 6:29 am
Hello guys, I've had homosexual fantasies from the age of 15. All of them were passive, also some autoerotic fantasies about being feminine. But mostly I am heterosexual and the thought of touching or kissing a man disgusted me. About a year ago I found WMM and all this hypno stuff, for a men like me with a sissy desires. I've tried feminiazation, LMS, curses, a lot of things, but mostly it was an erotic fantasy for me. I've masturbated to the thought of being feminized and turned into a "sissy cocksucker for the rest of your life". After feminization I felt disgusted, weak, sometimes that feeling was like noisea, and then a very strong masculine spirit appeared. So, after a few monthes of masturbation to all this sissy stuff, I've decided to restore my masculinity. Because that is what gives me power and desire to live, to do something.
Also, my life philosophy and my interest changed a lot, and I fell now the need for masculine energy. Well, I think I was some kind of a nerd before, I masturbated a lot, was interested in Sci-fi, history, poltics. I think sexuality is linked to the way we percive the world, and this is connected with different - feminine and masculine ways of adaptation in society. And this models of adaptation influence the way we learn and the things we are interested in. All this nerds and latent homosexuals fantasize about society, politics, trying to find appropriate values to adopt in society and make it better, while real active men just do their job, they find opportunities to reach a higher status in society. It is my theory, well, now I try to be more concentrated on subject, on myself, and not to care about this meaningless things. Psycholohycal discomfort of being weak and feminine - a great reason for trying to become a real man.
And I really liked to watch all this movies with manly actors like Cleant Eastwood or Daniele Craig, and I dream to be cool like them. I totally like the look, the sense of a woman, I can get hard just from a touch o woman. I am disgusted by the thougth of having sex with a man. But this is what happens IRL. In a world of pornography and my imagination I still want to suck cock, I still imagine myself being a girl, and mostly masturbate to homosexual fantasies. I still have probems with masculinization, because I get hard from the thought of sucking a man's cock. Femininity comes to me only when I masturbate.
Still, the file "Curse force straight" helps me, and I want thank the person who crated it, but I am a bit bored for listening it so many times. So, I think, we need some more files, maybe files, which will make subject more masculine, maybe even without making him heterosexual. Because I am only trying to get rid of passive homosexuality and femininity, not from homosexual desires in general. Maybe I would like a file that will make your sexuality mature, fallocentric - that means, you will be totally active and will have no pleasure of smth filling up your holes, only from fucking somebody.