by Alien4420 » November 26th, 2011, 8:50 am
From what I've seen and experienced, there are two things going on:
- The subconscious is actively being reprogrammed. This doesn't happen instantly. Old programming sometimes leaks through. And, as you say, where there's a conflict, the brain tries to flip-flop. I experienced that vividly when I tried listening to Forced Straight. It's like an optical illusion, where you see first one possibility, than another. My hypothesis is that we have an evolutionary tendency to test both ideas out. With time, the more successful idea prevails. Then you'll be gay or straight, or some other solution, e.g., bi.
- There's a conflict between the libido and the ego. When we're horny, the sex drive is in charge. When the horniness goes away, the ego and superego are in charge. So two parts of your mind want different things, and because of the cyclical nature of the sex drive they're in charge at different times. I see Ryan is experiencing this as I did. I think he's also marching to the tune of CFG, which says that you'll regret terribly not being able to have sex with women. I usually suggest that people edit out that suggestion because it creates just this kind of dissonance.
I do think based on my own experience that it isn't the sex itself. What turns us on can be reprogrammed easily enough. Rather, it's the new sexual desires that drive this. The subconscious initially doesn't want to give up its heterosexual desires and later it doesn't want to give up its homosexual ones. I think this makes sense because in humans sex has more than a procreative function: it's the drive that bonds men to women and it evolved in our species to enslave us to the pair bond. So it makes sense that the conscious mind would have little ability to change it, and limited ability to withstand it. It's better at putting sex on hold temporarily -- I suspect that the early hominid that tried to have sex while being attacked by a lion didn't contribute much to the gene pool. This ability to put sex on hold can never work for long. To genuinely change, you have to use trance, and the subconscious is going to do its best to prevent that.
My take on it, anyway.