by wymid » October 10th, 2011, 5:13 pm
I'd like to tell my story here. I was thinking of perhaps making a new topic, but what I have to say seems relevant to to this thread.
I first was tempted into trying hypnosis by a certain Isabel Valentine file spread around the internet with promises of a hands-free ejaculation. I tried some other files of hers I found online. Anyway, she did a great job at making me fall in love with her voice and the idea of being hypnotized. I started looking into other hypnotists and I eventually found myself no longer caring about Isabel Valentine's voice, but my obsession with hypnosis never went away.
I would keep trying new files and new ideas as experimentation. Trying out new ideas and seeing what I liked, including sissy or slutty focused files. I really was getting into it, but then it scared me and I deleted all my files. A while later, I felt the draw again. This pattern continues on, sort of like the mood swings described earlier in the thread. It scares me because I think I'm becoming somebody I don't want to be, and by that I mean pure gay. I've always considered myself straight, although I can remember liking hentai of futanari and traps before I got into hypnosis.
I would be satisfied being bisexual, but I find myself succumbing to mood swings as I keep testing my sexuality and if I'm still attracted to women. On the plus side, I've made the determination that altering my body is out of the question (breast implants, hormones, or anything of the sort). My ultimate goal as of now is to be able to not care what a person looks like (at least for things out of their control, like gender). I'm having trouble though accepting thoughts of being able to see myself with a man, even though I think I'm getting more turned on turned by men then women these days. It seems to me, I'm worried that by accepting that idea, I'll lose the part of me that likes women.