Help with...life?

[dangel1983]

Just stop wanking and looking at this crap on the internet! Seriously try and stop and see what you feel like after a month - hell you'll feel better after a couple of weeks!

It might be true that you've perhaps conditioned yourself to get turned on by these things, but it's just as possible to 'forget' what you've learnt too.

Also don't forget that when you're having sex for the first time it doesn't always go to plan and it's generally not that great - you're probably nervous and with all these doubts running through your head no wonder you lost your erection, you need to chill and just feel comfortable.
The fact you managed to get an erection and penetrate her shows that there is nothing wrong with you.

I'm making big assumptions here but if your spending ages on your computer wanking to this kind of thing, just switch off and go out and get some fresh air and meet some real people.
If you really need to beat off - try looking at other things like girl on girl action - you mention your love of tits - there's a whole world of awesome tit related porn out there.
If this girl is willing to take things slow that could be great as you can learn to explore each others bodies and get more comfortable with each other. Also another thing you could bear in mind, is to focusing on giving her an orgasm, stop worrying about what your body is doing or not doing and use you hands and mouth to make her explode.

You'll be fine, you just need to be strong and cut down (perhaps install a website nanny so you can't access porn so easily.)

Anyway that's the nice answer but in the spirit of this site - if you want an alternative we can always work something out where I buy you the biggest pair of implants and in return you can be my huge titted slut! :twisted:

[VeryGnawty]

This reminds me of the movie Inception. An idea can be like a parasite.

Very deeply held ideas can be difficult to eliminate, sometimes. I've had that happen before. If it seems to consume you, then it will probably take as much time to eliminate the desire as it took to build it up.

[slutinmyhead]

Maybe you can introduce her to hypnosis and find some happy medium. I've found the best way to do this is to describe it as a persuasion fantasy, like being coerced into doing something you're trying to resist. I find I can only become aroused if there's some kind of mind control element brought in. Sometimes I can imagine this without telling my partner (like in a one night stand or swinger party), but it's better when they're in on it. The nature of a fetish is that you need it for arousal, but I'm guessing your fetish is probably related to the hypnosis or power play rather than the specific suggestions. I will say, if you can get her to share your fantasies, hypnotic play with a partner is waaay better than doing it alone. Good luck and try not to stress or read too much into your experience. It may take a couple times to find your groove, but we all do.

[zapnosis]

A lot of guys go limp the first time... don't worry so much. Don't be afraid to try again!

[uw_onsterfelijk]

If all of what you say is true, I'm going to be honest here... your fuxored!

Sorry to say that but if it took "years" to make you how you are now, well... IF, and that's a big if, there is a turning back, it won't be easy and it won't be quick!

I do wish you the best though,
- uw_

[zzzzz]

Maybe the hypnotists here can make some more files that change us into "normal" behaving people?

And then just listen to those files! ;-)

[sarnoga]

[zzzzz]

[rgn]

[ohyouknow]

Perhaps being 'made normal' could be a form of humiliation. There was a poster on here a while back wanting to be made more prim and conservative, with this as one of the motives (quite a hot post actually).

[VeryGnawty]

[slutinmyhead]

Way better being compartmentalized... and yet I can totally understand why one might be a little disconcerted with not being able to keep the erection. Well, there are plenty of files floating around to remove suggestions. I haven't listened to any, but maybe some other user can suggest one that works. I'm more likely to put it on nerves though, or not enough foreplay. Men need foreplay a lot more than society seems to realize.

[bandler]

It sounds like you conditioned yourself in a certain way, and that conditioning is no longer meeting your needs. If that is true, you can condition yourself in a different way to meet your new requirements as well. Visit a hypnotherapist if you need help figuring out where to start.

[autumnheart]

1. Stop listening to the files. Listening to these things for years seems a bit unhealthy, and as you stated, using them for the purpose of masturbation seems like it would be no different then constantly looking at porn. If this is true then your only setting yourself up for failure no matter what the case because in your mind you are making unrealistic standards of how a relationship or how encounters happen. Actual sex in a relationship is not a fantasy and you should not be trying to fulfill a fantasy in doing such. There is a time and a place for fantasy, and this isn't it.

2. If you feel that you can't stop thinking about all the fantasy stuff then you need a change of scenery. Start actively seeking out new activities or trying to remember old passions. Look for things that interest you that are not at all related with your sexual fantasies. If you still can't stop thinking about these things, then I suggest professional help.

3. Stop masturbating. Grow some 'balls' and be a 'man' by having control over your bodily desires. I'm not trying to say that controlling yourself has anything to do with gender or orientation, but you need to learn that you are the only one who is in control of yourself. You let yourself listen to these tapes, you willingly accepted the message but you can also take control back. The danger in a lot of these tapes is that those who don't have the power of mind will fall in line like sheep. Don't get sucked into the comfortable routine.

4. Realize that sexual orientation isn't cut and dry. Its perfectly okay to like hard throbbing dick but dislike masculine features. Its because personally, I see the penis as an object attributed with a lot of power, not masculinity, when it comes to power roles. You don't need to be confused about if you are gay or straight, because those are bullshit terms that our society needs to do away with, but seeing as most of it is still struggling with the concept of being gay, we still have a long ways to go. Just accept what you like and don't like and realize that reality does not form to your fantasy. The universe is like a dictatorship in a way, you can see it for what it is, or you can delude yourself and go against it with great consequence.


On a personal aside. I'm a switch sexually, and sometimes when I casually dominate, nothing makes me happier then a submissive who has a mind of their own and isn't afraid to speak it. Though its my point of view, so take it with a grain of salt, but I think the extremes of BDSM where you start getting into power, slavery and 'owning' is the shit I really hate and disgusts me. These types of relationships that deal so much with power can easily be abused. If I look at a submissive and see someone who needs their hand held, can't do anything without a mistress or feels lost in the world if they don't have a guiding hand, then I'm sorry, you are not an adult, you are a child who is afraid of responsibility.

Personal aside 2: I think a good place to start would be to drop the diaper fetish. Chances are, most girls are going to think you are crazy if they find out about the diaper thing. Sure you can have what ever crazy fetish you desire, just don't let it interfere with relationships