Been gone for a while done some thinking and stuff...

[orva]

Hi,

I was never too active here and my first stay wasn't long lived. I got scared by the power of hypnosis and I still am to some extent. But I think hypnosis finally helped me knock some things loose in my brain. I've had transgendered inclinations since I was young and for the past four months I have been battling them with my mind. I am going to seek therapy to see where I stand but I think I might be transsexual.

Now my first stay here I really concentrated on the curse files, FeminizationCD, HormoneChange, and CurseFemButtGrowth. The addictive elements of these are really effective and the largest reason I was scared away. With one listen to DeprogramAll I broke the addiction. It was getting bad, to the point where my normal functioning was crippled. I'd like to know if there are softer versions of these files maybe without the addictive aspects. Like if I could have hormone change and fembuttgrowth without the addiction part I'd be totally cool.

Also, what are some files really meant to help TS come to terms with it? I know that alision in love has some files meant for this I have even listed to one of them on occasion. Are there other files/users with files meant for the same thing? I would like to keep the suggestions soft, i.e. I want my thoughts not to be forcefully transformed but rather more guided if that makes sense. I think hypnosis could help in this but due to my financial situation I cannot afford anything aside from free. :(

I would really appreciate some honest help.
-Orva

[sarnoga]

[orva]

[Liann]

[orva]

[sarnoga]

[orva]

[Liann]

[CycoMelody]

Orva, I am a TS woman. I understand the confusion and I have done enough research into this area that I tend to teach my therapist how to deal with it. I am not bragging in the least and Whatever Deity knows that If there were a way to prevent myself from having ever been born male I would take it. Sadly there isn't that way. You have a choice to make pure and simple. Can you live and function as a male being content to cross dress on occasion? Is this all purely sexual or is this deeper? If it is deeper, are you prepared to give up everything to be yourself? I am not being melodramatic. For me, it was a difficult decision, one I tried to figure out for a long while. It was deeper for me. The very struggle took me to a place where I very nearly killed myself because of how frustrated I was. Hopefully this will keep you from coming anywhere near that mark. Seriously, its the worst possible place and most likely as lonely as you can get. You will not see me speaking in a condescending manner to you. I am speaking of what I know and because I don't want to see anyone become a statistic. Better then half of all Transsexuals end up being suicides. This is NOT something to take lightly and while Hypnosis is great for helping you out on the journey it can't make the decision for you. Only you can. This is not an easy road at all. It does cost you everything. At least with being a CD you can explain things away a bit easier. When you have a set of boobs hanging on your chest, things become a bit more tricky. I lost some of my family when I came to terms with myself and chose to start hormones and get off the Testosterone train to board the Estrogen one. I can talk to most of my family but if I talk about transitioning I am looked down on and condemned to hell. But this is my choice. I chose to be myself rather then what those around me want me to be. What do you want to be? If you can safely say when you wake up first thing in the morning that you are happy with just dressing, I would suggest sticking to cross dressing. Clothing, make up, and breast forms are much cheaper then hormones and surgery. First and foremost though. Don't ask on a fetish hypnosis forum about it! Get to a therapist and speak with them. A good Gender Therapist will be able to give you some insight that 1) you haven't considered and 2) you can't get from people who have never met you. This is a decision you are going to have to make and it is one that WILL change your life forever. Again, not being melodramatic. I am dead serious. A lot of things you used to do are out the door when you start estrogen and the changes kick in. IE. Someone knocks on the door at 3 AM. You can't exactly answer the door topless and expect to not get locked up for for indecent exposure. Mannerisms, vocal-isms, and nearly every other feminism you can think of is going to need sorted out and worked on if you want to be accepted as a female. I am not trying to discourage you. I AM hoping to give you more information on what you are going to have to deal with. Rest Assured, this decision is going to affect every one around you even though it is your choice.

Melody

[Liann]

[orva]

[Liann]