Twisted Wishes

[C87]

[curiousguy92]

Granted but every second day you wake up 40 weeks pregnant. The minute you leave your bed you go into labor which means you're in excruciating pain trying to get that baby out, and also that you can't have pregnant sex.

I wish i was more muscular.

[CycoMelody]

Granted, You bulk up... and up... and up... and up.. until its hard to move. But hey, ain't no one going to try to mess with you at the beach. because you can't move ON TO the beach. You can't fit through any doors!

I wish for some bacon!

[lexii]

Granted, but meat is outlawed. If you are caught with any trace of it you will be publicly executed.

I wish i had wings and could fly.

[curiousguy92]

Granted. You are now a fruit fly. You land next to a banana and get squashed.

I wish my paper would write itself without any plagiarism so that I get an A.

[lexii]

Granted, but it is for a subject you don't do and is completely irrelevant to everything.

I wish none of my future wishes would be twisted

[Mino]

[lexii]

you didn't make a wish :(.

i wish EMG would make more files

[curiousguy92]

Granted. EMG makes the perfect file that you have been waiting for since you joined WMM. However, your membership on the site somehow gets deleted and you can't seem to re-register. That perfect file will never be yours. :twisted:

I wish I had a jockstrap.

[trawl]

Granted, but it's so tight that once you put it on you can never, ever get it off.

I wish for more gym equipment.

[lexii]

[curiousguy92]

Granted. You are now be a premium member until the day you die. Tomorrow, when you're walking across the street you'll get hit by a bus.

I wish for a fish in a dish.

[soundexcess]

Granted although you are now a cod fish and have been and will be served mr. snuckems the cat promptly at 3 o'clock as minced fish in a crystal serving dish.

I wish be a small gray house cat.

[lexii]

granted, you are a porcelain grey painted house cat upon a mantlepiece of an old lady's house. you cannot move or even think.

[EDIT]
i wish i could read minds

[curiousguy92]

Granted, but every mind you read is just full of pointless annoying drivel.

I wish for an 8 oz glass of delicious unpoisoned juice.

[soundexcess]

Granted all be it a glass of acai and prune juice blended, causing you too empty colon through a marathon toilet trip. You did not die though you wish you had at one point, now with clean you return full of energy, only to be addicted to having a clean colon and doing this once a week or so, to maintain the empty feeling.

I wish I could shape shift into anyone or anything, instantly with out adverse consequences and as often as I want with out adverse consequences and stay in that form as long as I want with out adverse consequences and maintain my full faculties in any form with out adverse consequences.

[lexii]

Granted, however you become permanently invisible too (coincidentally - not as a consequence).

i wish i was genetically female

[curiousguy92]

Granted. You are a genetically female warthog.

I wish every human between the ages of 18 and 24 was attracted to me.

[lexii]

granted - however you also become perminantly repulsed by anyone between those ages.

[edit] (this is becomming a habit...)
I wish i was telepatic

[curiousguy92]

Granted. You can now read other people's minds. The only problem is that with so many of their thought floating around in your head, you can't think any of your own. You just sit there drooling while you listen to the things other people think.

(No worries on forgetting to wish right away. It happens to all of us.) :D

I wish I could control the weather.

[soundexcess]

Granted Zues imbues you with his powers except for immortality all is good until you sneeze while throwing a lighting bolt and electrocute your self.

I wish I could visualize instead of just hearing my own thoughts.

[curiousguy92]

Granted. Every time you think something you see the words floating in front of your face. It gets quite annoying because the words block your vision and you think "I wish I could see past these words" which, of course, appears in front of your eyes in a bout of irony.

I wish I had a hot air balloon.

[MRhello]

Granted. It appears inside your small intestine, and your body cannot withstand the pressure- looks like YOU popped like a balloon!


I wish I was able to walk normally again, and that my recent spinal cord damage healed on its own...

[soundexcess]

well that's too bad about the damage I wish I could something but since I cant take this twist

Well you can walk again normal and spine damaged healed it seems that it siphoned off the part of your brain that lets you control bladder, the docs are all now really interested in your predicament cause it is not like that part of brain shrived in just poof, gone you live out your days as a well paid lab rat in diapers being changed by young giggling female premed students during there internships and occasional you get a nice horny one who will fullfill your every need ever so gently.
I wish I could make this happen for you but I can't
So I wish this could happen for me minus the spine injury or injury in general.

[curiousguy92]

Granted. You live the rest of your days being tended to by female pre-med students, but there seems to be an odd chemical in the diapers they use on you. Instead of an adult baby, the chemical causes you to age rapidly and you become an incontinent old man. Also, when they change you, the pre-med students are exposed to the chemical and they become shriveled old maids that bring you no sexual thrill at all.

I wish i had a magic speedo that transformed my body into that of a professional (male) bodybuilder ready for competition.

[soundexcess]

Granted poof it appears in front you and it is pink with a purple triangle pattern and a rainbow logo, and looks rather fabulous on you, problem is it makes all the other male body builders attracted to you and makes you as straight as a board while repulsing the females also when ever you remove it you will be twice as fat as when you put it on.

[curiousguy92]

You forgot to make a wish, so...

I wish I had no allergies. :)

[soundexcess]

Granted except for the treatment that make this possible means you haft live in the bottom of the sea in solitary forever as treatment also makes immortal, there is no communication in or out of your bubble, so you are effectively a living dead, but hey the allegories are gone.

I wish be a Jedi.

[KiruGX]

Granted,But your lightsaber activates everytime you get hard. REGARDLESS of the time.

I wish for the ability to only eat one potato chip.

[curiousguy92]

Granted. You are only able to eat that one potato chip, so you had better make it last. Anything else you try to eat, you won't be able to do it. After your one potato chip is gone you're screwed.

I wish I were 5'11" tall.

[kuperfox]

[curiousguy92]

Granted. You are now the infant daughter of the most powerful man and woman on Earth. However, with their power comes a lot of responsibility and a very busy schedule. You are raised by a brutish nanny named Olga and your new parents never give you a single bit of attention in your entire life.

I wish to have extremely satisfying sex with a male bodybuilder who is not Bubba in any way, shape, or form.

[curiousguy92]

Since you didn't make a wish, I'll make one instead...

I wish my skin would tan instead of getting sunburned.

[MRhello]

Related to my previous post: Gawd, I love medical sience. My spinal cord injury is not fully healed, nor will it be, but ith a flexible metal sheath around it I can walk normally again, and not have to be worried about slipping and making myself a paraplegic. (There was no damage done except to the discs and vertebra- if I fell- well, think scissors. Yeah.) Anywho....

Granted. right before you start your wish, a spacial anomaly develops inside your cranium, and although your wish was un-twistable, your neurons weren't...

I wish I knew how to start cold fusion, and owned a copy of the LHC (Large Hadron Collider) for my own use...

[curiousguy92]

Granted. You now own CERN and have the knowledge necessary to start cold fusion. However, you don't know how to finish, so your reaction goes haywire and you get blown up. Sorry.

I wish the world was one big gay porno. (as such, there would be no sexually transmitted diseases, or anything of the sort)

[mutatedbunnyboy]

Granted and the human race dies out

i wish for unconceivable powers over all time and space

[Hbonee]

Granted.

However, you will be disintegrated through an unknown force after 24 hours of using your powers.

I wish to see people transformed into clothes.

[curiousguy92]

[curiousguy92]

Granted. Your mind is split in two; one part baby and one part mother. However, the mother and baby you become are Bella and her vampire baby from the Twilight Saga, so when you feed your baby-self, it is with your own blood. You will die soon from loss of blood, and the fact that you're lactating does not affect the situation at all.

I wish I had the ability (which I could turn on and off when i so choose) to make anything I say into the truth, regardless of whether it previously was true.

[C87]

[mutatedbunnyboy]

[C87]

[mutatedbunnyboy]

[curiousguy92]

Granted. You understand the world and the workings of humanity. Unfortunately, such knowledge comes with a price. After 5 minutes with this knowledge you become vegetative. You are trapped in your own mind until the end of your natural life, unable to move or speak or interact with anyone.

I wish my laundry would wash and dry itself, without causing any harm or catastrophe.

[sarnoga]

[mutatedbunnyboy]

[soundexcess]

Granted but you must change the laws old testament meaning you must die to change so you going to get it change. one good luck. so you think of a really good one to sacrifice your for and you are you way to when whatever you would have wished changed kills you ironically before you can sacrifice your self in an acceptable manner. thus resulting in nothing.

I wish for permanent positive change in the world.

[seduct10n]

Granted. But now you have the Brady's, the Cosby's and the Waltons for neighbours.

I wish I was a baby with the most wonderful mommy! (Its probably already been wished for but this is my wish)

[curiousguy92]

Granted. You are now the producer and the star of the Retarded baby show. You are a severely retarded baby, and you have a wonderful mommy on the show. However, in real life your mommy is Kate Gosselin, so you're screwed.

I wish there were more hot gay guys here so that I could have safe, disease free sex with them, in such a way that this wish does not make me repulsed by gay sex or cause harm to anyone in any way.

[mutatedbunnyboy]