by slutinmyhead » May 16th, 2005, 6:26 am
The most noticeable effect seems to be the near-constant craving I have to sit watching. It's gotten so that I do little else outside of work and sleep. When watching, I lose track of time and when I'm done, get the sense of still seeing the slideshow and hearing the messages in my head. This lasts for a while, particularly if I go to sleep soon after.
So far as actually following the suggestions I've given myself, mostly I've just created a willingness and desire for these things to happen. My girlfriend knows little of what I've been doing and would not approve, which slows me down some. One file I listen/ watch makes me submissive to her, which I've pretty much become, though just during sex. Another file makes me want to see her fuck other guys, which I've suggested, but which only pisses her off. Another file makes me want to suck dick, which I thought was gross in the beginning, but which now makes me hard just thinking about. I actually did end up sucking two guys' dicks at the same time early on in my conditioning, but it freaked me out and I haven't tried it again. Still, I've started to think when/ if I eventually break up with my gf, I'd like to get involved with a bisexual couple.
Any of this help?
Slutinmyhead