by Alien4420 » December 10th, 2009, 8:15 am
Been musing on this conversation, because while I had the same negative reaction to the millstone remark that you did I also have to acknowledge that there's some truth in it.
There are practical consequences to being gay -- fading rapidly, to be sure, but a real consideration if you don't live in a gay-friendly place. People still lose their families, get kicked out the military, face denial of death benefits, and so forth.
But I think most of us can get beyond those problems. For me, anyway, it's harder to isolate yourself from the prejudices of others. We seem to have evolved to be extremely sensitive to social pressure, to internalize rejection by those around us.
I've always envied those who don't care what others think, just go their own way thinking 'If you don't like it, tough." Unfortunately, I'm not one of them. I've always marched to a different drummer, but it seems to me that I've paid a fairly high emotional price over the years for doing so, either because of sensitivity to social rejection or the denial of self that comes about when you give in to pressure and conform.
Mistress Catgirl does a great job dealing with social rejection in her feminization files, in fact, she makes you revel in it. I don't know of anything comparable for Forced Gay, but I think it could be useful, because, after all, where prejudice doesn't result in substantive harm like the denial of a job opportunity, the harm is in your head. That doesn't make it any less real or painful, but it does mean that it's amenable to corrective suggestion, as the loss of a job is not.
In that context, I'd like to clarify what I tried to say to Ryan. I wasn't suggesting that he choose to become or remain gay -- that's entirely up to him and I accept and understand and to some extent share his reservations. Rather, the point I was trying to make was that you have to make the best of the opportunities with which life presents you. Because if you beat yourself up too much, you're going to do more damage to your happiness and well-being than any curse file could.
It's important to remember that despite all the social prejudice, lots of gay guys are happy being what they are. Just look at how happy Dave is. Talk of millstones and pressure to change back really do no good. The important thing to keep in mind is that you can be happy whatever your orientation, as long as you don't internalize the prejudices of others.