by Ryan83 » July 3rd, 2013, 8:19 pm
@samhash- That's really hard to say because everyone's different and I don't know if I started straight and became gay (or bi...I guess...but I'm not even sure of that) or if I was always this way but it was suppressed. All I know is, I have finally started (keyword there being 'started') to come around to mens' bodies (other than the cock which is the most amazing thing on planet fucking Earth...I already came around to that a long time ago) but I am losing a LOT of my resistance. Years and years of "I love this...no wait, I hate it...I love it...I hate it..." have turned into "I am going to a strip club and I can't wait to have guys rubbing all over me OMG CAN WE GO TODAY?!" There's still a part of me that wonders if this is wrong, but it's not nearly as bad as it used to be.
@Alien- Put it this way- I don't remember ever, UNCONSCIOUSLY, having the occasional limp wrist. It just hit me last week or the week before- what the fuck did I just do? I couldn't believe it. And then sometimes I will put my hand on my chest in a very feminine way, like when a woman says, "Oh, I am SO sorry to hear that" and then puts their hand to their chest. Totally, completely without thinking, just did it. I don't remember that happening before. And I could have sworn I was swinging my hip while walking the other day but I'm not sure if I'm just misremembering.
I will say, I don't feel the least bit submissive, I don't feel like a sissy, but I definitely am starting to see these feminine traits popping up. It's either CSS or it's Curse Feminine Mannerisms, but I only did that one once or twice about a month ago and haven't even thought of them since, whereas I've been actively listening to CSS. So...I don't know. Now it's just this incredibly difficult choice, night to night, whether I listen to CSS or CFG. Since I have tomorrow off, I might do both (plus Curse Susceptible is now an absolute must prior).