by sandy82 » July 23rd, 2005, 11:56 pm
bizzy, I noticed you a while ago when we were the only two people on the website. I wish I had known what your message was going to contain.
You need to talk face-to-face with professionals. A psychiatrist; your regular doctor; and, if you belong to a church, a priest or minister. Surely, you have some family: a child, a sibling, a first cousin. Talk to them. An old friend from school. A former colleague at work. Talk to them. Be as honest as you can comfortably be with laymen. Be very honest with medical professionals and any qualified clergyman.
It would be irresponsible of me to recommend that you rely on self-hypnosis at a time like this in your life. Read many of the posts here, in which people wonder about their progress. I think they're making progress, and I think the files are sound. But the files will not address serious problems in a short period of time.
If you have lost your wife and you also have had financial problems, you need additional face-to-face intervention at the earliest opportunity. My advice as a layman, for what it's worth, is that you tackle the general health, sleep, and self-esteem problems first. For the time being, forget about making wise or witty conversation with women. When you get the other problems sorted out, that ability will return naturally.
See professionals with advanced degrees and years of experience. Don't rely on the Internet, Health Food Stores, or other supposed quick fixes. Your life is worth more than that. Put your life first, and everything else will gradually fall into place.
I'm giving you the best advice I possibly can. I would hate to think that frivolous comments from anyone might lead to your having additional problems.
Under the circumstances, I think you've held up remarkably well. Now it's time to do even better. Don't be shy about accepting a helping hand from people who are educated and equipped to help.
I have not met a single person at this site, including me, who has the proper education and experience to intervene in your situation.
If you don't have health insurance and if you can't afford the type of assistance you need, look for the nearest state or county mental health clinic. This is not a time to have false pride. It's a time to put yourself first and get everything back in order.
You can do it. Make the right choices. Give yourself a chance. You're worth it.